{eight}

Jensen,

You turned 8 months yesterday! I cannot believe where the time has gone. I try to remember that each day and each moment is special because they go by so fast.
What you are up to these days:
You crawl like a maniac - so fast!
You are a pro at going up the stairs
You have mastered how to stand against anything including the wall
You can stand for a little bit on your own without holding furniture
You can also get yourself into a standing position without needing furniture or anything to hold onto
You have fallen in love with a stuffed monkey and want to sleep with it
You have not gotten any more teeth - still have the bottom 2 and top 2
You LOVE food and prefer the mixed pouches that hold fruits and veggies in one
You love hearing your own voice and scream a lot for no reason
You like seeing yourself in the mirror
Your favorite song is still itsy bity spider and it can always calm you down
You are still trying to figure out Dakota and always pull her hair (which she hates)
You love getting watched by your grandma 5 times a week
You still love the water and try to catch it in your hands when coming out of a faucet
You are definitely more interested in cell phones, remotes, and Dakota's water bowl than any baby toy
You still love your jumperoo and we put you in it in the morning when getting ready
You love cuddling with your dad and sleeping on his chest
You like books, but only to play with. You are currently too interested in eating the book than listening
        to be in read to you

JUNE?

Oh my gosh it has been nearly a month since I posted! That is awful considering how much happens in a day let alone a month! I am going to have to refer to Facebook status updates to remember what happened in the past month, but the major would be we closed on our house and moved!

We closed on May 10th and got keys on May 11th. That is a day I will never forget! Amie is the best realtor and now a great friend and we couldn't have done it without her. She even gave us such a sweet, personalized gift at closing (a potted pink plant w/Kalai lyrics engraged on the pot). Corey immediately started working on the main bathroom -ripping it out and putting it back together. I will have to find pictures of the before and post them. It is a total 180!

That Saturday (May 12th) was Race for the Cure downtown right around the Salt Lake library. Mom, Marissa, Rylee, Jensen, and myself all walked. Jensen hated the stroller within the first mile and I carried him the Ergo Carrier the rest of the way - I was a sweaty mess when it was over. It was fun though and I am always up for supporting a good cause and getting some good exercise at the same time.

The next day (Sunday the 13th) was my first official Mother's Day! We met with my family at Ihop in Sandy for an early breakfast. We can by our house to show Morgan and than that afternoon we went to an late lunch/early dinner with Corey's family at Marie Calendars. My mom got me a baby bullet (to make homemade baby food for Jensen) and I gave my mom an engraved necklace that says "gma" in the middle and Rylee and Jensen around the edge. She loves it and hasn't taken it off! Corey's mom gave me a super cute shirt and some candies and I got a pretty plant from grandma and Eileen. Corey got me a really nice card and flowers and ordered me a gift that still isn't here (almost a month later!). He said it shipped this week though so I am excited to see what it is!

The next week or two after that was pretty much a blur of chaos. We had a falling out with Marissa and Morgan about watching Jensen so she no longer babysits 3x a week for us. We did family pictures two days later (the 23rd) which was fun to get done, but a bit awkward. I love Mary with DMC and she can always put me in a good mood for pictures! She did an amazing job and I couldn't be happier with the pictures she got of Jensen (and his cute little teeth). The next day (24th) was Marissa's birthday but we didn't get together. That weekend Corey and I were busy trying to move stuff into the house, work on the bathroom, and I was busy doing finals and Employee Appreciation stuff at work. It was literally chaos - oh and my mom was in Texas for Callie's graduation so I couldn't bug her for help. My in-laws have become our heros for sure! Not only has Jill watched Jensen 2x a week since I went back to work, but she also has been helping us a ton on the weekend watching Jensen so I could pack or do homework or buy stuff for the house. Cal has been to the house every late night and all day on the weekends helping Corey work on the bathroom to get it done by the time we moved in. Jill is now watching Jensen 5x a week until I can figure out a replacement for the other 3 days. I have met with a few people, but no one I really love. One lady I liked charges for all 5x a week which would become very expensive for us so I am still looking around. We want Jensen to be happy and safe and so we do not want to make a rushed decision.

We officially moved into our home over Memorial weekend (3 days of moving!). I finished up my last final for those courses just in time to move last weekend. Jill did a lot of the packing with me and my mom watched Jensen. Corey and Cal moved all the big ideas - tvs, beds, desk, etc. It was a lot of work and we couldn't have done it without them. I need to find a gift for them soon! We still have boxes in a few rooms, but everything is almost put away. It is hard to get anything done after Jensen is asleep because we have to be quiet. Man  - life with him is so different!

I am now officially in my LAST and FINAL 9 weeks of school and couldn't be happier. Hopefully everything calms down and I can get settled in and focused on these last classes and graduate with a good GPA. Right now I have a 3.6 and I don't want to go below that.

Work is going good and I am constantly busy which I love. I am on just about every committee in the building and it keeps me on my toes and involved in other parts of the company. I love the feeling of making others happy and giving back. I feel it is a way of paying it forward and hoping others will do the same.

Jensen is doing good (as always). He is a speed demon now - he is a master crawler! He has also become pretty pro at climbing up on things and standing for a long time and walking along furniture. He can stand without holding onto furniture for a little bit too. Hopefully walking is a little ways away though  - I love that he is mobile, but everything is happening so fast! His top left tooth has broke through and the other one right next to it is breaking through now too. He hasn't been too happy the last few days, but I can't blame him. That is 4 teeth in just over a month! I am still nursing which hasn't been going too great and we have started supplementing with formula. I felt disappointed about it, but not realizing that it doesn't mean I am failing. I am now feeling proud that I have made it this far. Just because I have had to give him some formula (usually one bottle a day) doesn't mean I have to quit nursing or pumping. Hopefully I can get back to exclusively nursing/pumping when my stress levels go down!

Sorry for such a long post, but so much happens in just a day let alone in almost a month! I need to remember to blog at least once a week so the posts aren't pages long.

{seven}

So, Jensen you are officially 7 months old! Boy, where has the time gone? I must say that you keep the days entertaining and they are never a bore.

Here is a quick 7 month update:
You have two teeth
You love the song Itsy Bitsy Spider (with hand actions) and have since you were born
You love food- especially bananas, cereal, pears, and cinnamon
You can offically crawl and you do not scoot on your belly anymore
You can walk across furniture (but only once in a while)
You sleep well and typically only wake up once a night
You babble a lot and get incredibly excited over absolutely nothing
You get so excited that you screech and flap your arms like a bird
You moved into size 3 diapers today, but still wear size 6-9 month clothes
You are still exclusively breastfeed and seem to love it!
You still haven't been sick which we are beyond thankful for
You love being outside and if you are crying you instantly stop when you feel fresh air
You love to pull mamas hair, daddas hair, and Dakota's hair... and not let go
You crawl only for things you shouldn't have like remote controls, power cords, and Dakota's dishes
You absolutely love bath time and bath toys - good thing this is part of the bedtime routine!
You do much better in mamas car than in daddys because you love seeing out the window
You love playing with your cousin Rylee 3x a week and having her wear you out
You have your mama and daddy wrapped around your tiny fingers and we wouldn't trade it for a thing

Tooth #2 and a baby on the move

Holy moly! Jensen would not sleep last night and I am BEYOND exhausted. He only went down for an hour or two before waking up again (right when I was trying to fall asleep) and was up for an hour. Finally got him back down and he got up again at 3. I nursed twice, changed his diaper, etc and he would not go back down. Corey finally grabbed him at 4:30 this morning and put him back down (not sure what time). Corey told me today that his second tooth popped through on the bottom and sure enough  - you can see it and feel it. Poor little man and his teeth! This is his second tooth and the first one came through on 4/21 and today is 5/2! 2 teeth in less than two weeks - I am sure I would freak out!

Another update?!?! He is crawling! He doesn't make it far, but he has the motion down now of moving his arms and his legs! Corey and I caught it on video but only for about two seconds and then he got what he was going after and we couldn't get him to do it again. Never force a baby to do something when it is bed time... it turns ugly! Better start looking into baby gates for the house!

A {decent sized} update

It has been over a week so I figured I better get on it! Not much new to report....
Life has been busy and stressful as usual. I feel like I am neglecting my friends and family for school and work, but it will all settle down soon I am sure.

Work is going really good, but very busy. I can't complain about being busy though (as I always say) and I am so happy that I have a job that I love and want to go to every day. There is going to be a new position opening up that is literally my dream job/career choice. I already submitted my resume for it, so hopefully when it posts I will be able to interview and hopefully get it.

School is going pretty well. I am more than half way done with these courses. The class I thought I would struggle in I am actually doing really well and have 100% through week 5 (out of 9 weeks). My other class I have a B+ and hope to get it to an A by the time my classes are over. I will only have two more classes/one more block before I graduate! As long as nothing crazy happens between now and than I am still set to graduate on July 29th!

Jensen is doing awesome and is going to be 7 months in just five days! I can't believe how fast these months have just flown by. I am so happy and proud to be his mama. He has his first tooth, love foods, is trying to crawl (so funny to watch him rock back and forth and grunt) and rolls to what he wants. He is such a happy baby and loves his family. I am still exclusively breast feeding and I am so happy I have stuck with it. Many of my friends have leaned on me for guidance and support and I love that they feel comfortable coming to me. I am also happy to say that while it hasn't been an easy 7 months, they have been well worth it. I have to take herbal supplements (2 different kinds) at least twice a day just to produce enough and I have to hand pump at work (because my body stopped responding to an electric pump), but it is worth it for his growth and health. He hasn't been sick yet and I haven't either! It is good for the both of us! I love that we can bond over it too and that if I am wound up from my day, that is one thing that calms me down. I will be glad when I am done nursing to get a lot of time and my body back, but I know I will miss it. It is the special time that only he and I have.

We close on our home in one week from today! We were hoping to close tomorrow, but we have to wait on the bank to get a few things done first and approved before we can sign papers. I think we should close by the 8th and have keys within 24 hours after that. Corey and I have discussed redoing the main bathroom before we move in and I am so excited for our first big project that we can do together as husband and wife in OUR own home! Now I just need to prepare myself for being poor for the rest of my life!

Rylee turned 3 today! Her birthday party was on Saturday at a gym and it was so much fun. Jensen even enjoyed bouncing around with me holding him. All the kids loved it and so did the adults. Glad everyone had such a good time celebrating with her. Jensen and I were both so tired when we left that we slept all the way home! Now that is a good way to tell if you had fun or not if you ask me!

This week I am doing little things to focus on myself. I feel like in order to take care of everyone else I need to focus on me every once in a while. I finally went to Ken and got a massage today. Jenn is cutting and coloring my hair on Thursday and my nails are on Sunday. I bought a pair of Toms on Sunday so I got a little shopping in their too (and it wasn't for the house or Jensen). May is going to be fun and busy with a lot of work events (Employee Apprecation Week) and two sets of family photos. I am so excited to get pictures done with my family and then to get updated photos of my little family through DMC. I can't wait. I can't believe how much Jensen has changed since he was a newborn and it will be fun to have her take updated photos of us. I just can't decide what to wear and whether or not to do them inside or outside. I better figure it out soon!

Okay, I should be doing homework and it is getting VERY late for me. Off I go!

{tooth} ache

Super quick announcement (while taking a mini break from my homework) to announce that Jensen cut his first tooth on Saturday 4/21! Our little man sure is growing up!

I love you Bubs!

{Missing} my daddy

Not a single day goes by where I don't think of my dad, how much I miss him and wish he was here to experience all of the things in my life along with me. I also don't have a day that goes by that I don't think about his last day on Earth and how he suffered. I literally still get sick thinking about it, and try to let it go, but I can't (not yet).

The last time I saw my dad was when we went out to dinner for my brother's birthday (which was yesterday by the way) and than I talked to him a lot after that. I didn't see him after because I went to Colorado for Dakota's heart surgery. I talked to my dad a lot during that time because he paid for Dakota's surgery (and yes I still owe them the money for it) and I was pregnant, sick, and not wanting to be there. He kept me calm during that time. I talked to my dad when we got back, but it was Sunday and I had to be to work the next day so I didn't go over there on the weekend like usual.

I talked to my dad on 4/19 (the day he passed away) and the conversation and that day will live forever in my mind and my heart. I will never forget telling him that he sounded like sh*t and that he should go lay down because he was sick and he wasn't sleeping well. He told me that he would probably go lay down that afternoon and try to get some rest before my mom got home. I told him I loved him and to get better soon. The next thing I know, it is just after 6pm and Corey and I are leaving Walmart (grocery shopping for the week) and my mom is on the phone in tears saying that my dad isn't breathing and it isn't good and I need to go to Alta View Hospital. She said not to rush that it was okay to go home and put groceries away. I told my mom that it would be okay and I would be there soon. I cried hysterically all the way home, threw the food in the fridge as fast as I could and Corey and I got to the hospital. When I finally saw my mom and my dad, I could tell that my dad had already passed away. My mom was in hysterics and holding onto him. I continued crying hysterically and gripping onto my dads shirt and sitting on the floor of the ER. I guess they tried to revive him, but it was too late. Thinking that my dad suffered since he couldn't breath on his back is the worst part. Also, knowing that he got rid of his medical alert watch makes me angry. I also am still angry that he was able to call 911 and they showed up at the house, went through the backyard, and never tried to get inside. I am angry and sad still and I don't know how long it will take until I don't feel this way.

The only positive is that he is no longer in pain and that I know he is watching out for me. I know that he kept Jensen and I safe during my pregnancy and he kept Jensen safe during my c-section. I know that he watches out for my entire family so nothing bad will happen. I know that when I pass a class with an A that he is smiling down on me and would be telling me how proud of me he is for going back to school and not giving up no matter what - and getting good grades while doing it. My dad was also such a good reinforcer and was always there as my sound board and person I could go to for advice, especially financially. He wanted to make sure I had a plan and I wasn't in debt. He would do everything he could to help me have a good future. I know my dad would be beyond proud to know that we are making decisions and buying our first house as a family.

Daddy -  I am sorry I don't visit you, but I don't believe you are there. I believe that you are in my heart and always with me where ever I go. I love days when the sun is shining - I feel it is you telling me that you are happy and doing okay. Let the sun shine, Dad! I miss you and love you very much!